matthew ward : “same name”
My plan was to only screw women with the same name as my wife so there'd be no suspicion when I called out my mistress's name during sex.
Then one night during sex with my wife she called out my name and in my mind I naturally assumed that she was cheating.
Well, she kicked me out with only a pair of jeans, a watch and a brain that was so dumb I couldn't leave it to remedial science if I died.
Living on the streets wasn't easy. To reiterate, living on the roads was hard, too, but not as long.
The night and the day seemed as lonely as me. I decided to set them up on a date. But where to send them... Maybe a restaurant but it'd have to be really cozy... and really big.
I celebrated my new role as matchmaker by eating dessert: a bottle of wine and pills a bum gave me for my birthday when he was asleep.
The next afternoon I awoke and finished the last drop of wine. With breakfast over I thought about lunch.
My decision to change my identity was fueled by pure survival instincts going back to the beginning of time, or at least to the invention of the watch.
With the watch pawned I changed my name to Van Gogh and started to paint. If my wife wouldn’t take me back, I’d cut off my ear and send it to a prostitute. That’d show her.
Matthew Ward lives in Newcastle, Australia. In 2004, his story 'Jake' – a tale that questioned the existence of God & championed the ampersand – was published as a novella by Independence Jones (Australia). In late 2006 World Audience (USA) published his short story anthology, 'Cat's Bum'. His short stories & articles have appeared in several magazines, printed as well as online. He dreams of writing the great Australian novel; failing that, the great American one.
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