richard brown : “starry night in a world of orange & black”

The bottle smashed down on the curb and its red contents spilled out onto the road. I wish I could say I dropped the glass but there was no fucking glass. Just a puddle of cheap red wine and a drunken bastard staring down at it. The air was cold and frosty, stinging my ears and hurrying me back home. I started walking. People shouted and jeered at me as usual. I found a fag end on the floor and started to try and light it, it was damp. As I walked, the gritty harsh pavement fell more and more into disrepair as I moved into the shitty side of town. The street lights glowed and hummed as usual, occasionally one would flicker and die, like us. The world was perpetually orange and black, although it looked different tonight. There was something else that made the night seem not quite so unbearable. But I couldn’t figure it out so I just kept walking with my head down, tucked into my coat as usual.

 

I got to the squat, there weren’t many people in. It was an old house of some kind that the council had decided wasn’t worth kicking us out of. Probably until some big fuck off business decided it was economically viable to exterminate us, like fucking rats. I had about two quid in change that I had found and collected that night from the student part of town. A mixed bag, you’d get the odd kind sort but you’d get the odd cunt who’d rather kick your teeth out of the back of your head than give you a smile. Just kids trying to be men, still much better than sitting out near the Wetherspoons on a Friday night.

 

I scanned the room for any leftover drink or drugs , not a bean, or anything else for that matter. I went over to my corner and fumbled in the dark.

 

“Eh Dylan lad, good night?” a voice came out of a dark corner where Trev usually stayed.

 

“Not bad mate, two quid. Lost a fuckin full bottle of wine though”

 

“Ah... erm..” Trev’s voice trailed off, he was fucked up on heroine again. Either that or he’d been drinking shit that he shouldn’t be drinking. Idiot. We’ve all been there. I started to talk to Trev out loud, I didn’t expect a reply but I just didn’t want to huddle down in my blanket and freeze to death over night.

 

“There’s somethin different tonight, the world in’t quite so fuckin shit, know what I mean?” I gave an uneasy laugh, I don’t know who to.

 

My voice bounded round the room unnoticed, he was gone. Then I got up and walked out back. I sat down on an old tractor tyre and sparked up a joint end I’d found the other day. I think it was mostly shit tobacco but the thought was nice. It was almost civilized. It was then that I noticed it. It was as if the whole fucking universe had compacted into a size that I could hold in my hand. The sky was clear and a million stars and planets shone their light down on me. Just for me. Me and every other fucker on this planet, all six billion were equal for once. It was nice to appreciate something like that for once. I cracked a smile up at the sky and smoked my shitty joint.

 

Richard Brown is a twenty-two year old musician & writer from Derbyshire. He lives in Sheffield & is training to be a primary school teacher. He started writing after a summer in Cornwall with a couple of Charles Bukowski books. He writes from the thoughts still floating around his head at the end of the day.

 

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{ issue four